How to Stop being a Depressed Mom

     

     The feeling of being depressed affects millions of people including us moms. One would think that moms would be spared from this malady with little cheery faces all around us but alas, we are part of the statistics. This is even more so for stay-at-home moms as we battle the ever increasing demands for more and more of us. No mom wants to be depressed because it eventually gets let out in some way that could hurt her family. We all need help to bring the joy back into motherhood and our homes instead of being the one who is always putting a damper on everyone's joy.

     Depression is a mood disorder that brings with it feelings of sadness and loss of interest. In more severe cases, the feeling can be constant and comes with low self-esteem, guilt, inability to enjoy life and  suicidal thoughts. Most people feel sad at times and this could be a normal reaction to life's challenges and losses, but when it is intense and persistent and comes frequently, it may be more serious than you know. Depressed moms don't have a particular look about them and may appear happy. If they don't tell you what they are going through, you may never know. 

Causes of Depression

     Not everyone can connect to the cause of the depression they are going through. Some could be results of deep-rooted childhood trauma and rejection. For a lot of moms, the onset began with overwhelming responsibilities that come with keeping a home, raising kids and working too.  Motherhood is replete with emotional ups and downs. It may be especially hard for a woman who had a career before being a mom. For stay-at-home moms, the misconception about having less to do isn't true at all. From running on too little sleep to making sure that everyone's needs are met to hormonal fluctuation to feeling isolated, loss of identity and financial dependence. Being a mom means being a lot of things to a lot of people, many of whom don't give back as good as they get (at least for the time being). It feels like you are being emptied and it is so tiring and exhausting that at the end of the day you wonder how you will get through the next day. The pressure comes with the territory. For others still, it creeps in after a bad divorce or an abusive marriage that makes you blame yourself a lot or when you have the 'baby blues.'

     I've been a mom for the past two years and counting and it's not motivating spending all of my time changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, sleeping at odd hours, waking up early with a fuzzy brain and so exhausted that I can't get a break. Some people may tell me to be grateful that I get to spend time with my baby, I am and I wish someone could take over for just a little bit so I can reset. It seems like a tall order because it's so difficult to get reliable help these days. I rely more on family, I catch a holiday whenever I can. I travel home and I get the needed help and rest or I sweet-talk my mom to come over to see her grandchild. That always works.

Tips on How to Kick Depression 

• Talk about it. Open up to family and friends you can trust. They will be more likely to cheer you when it comes calling because they are aware and will also be at hand to offer a listening ear and empathy when you feel down. 
• Reach out to someone when those intense feelings come because you may not always be in control of your self.
• Give your self the needed self-care often and implement some lifestyle changes. This will help get rid of feelings of being unlovable and low self-esteem from neglect.
• Live for yourself and not for approval or validation from other people. Be happy for yourself and you will really start to radiate happiness.
• Do exercises. It will give you a feeling of having accomplished something for yourself and you will also feel good about your body.
• Meditate on the word of God. Proverbs 23:7 says, 'For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he...' Try not to dwell on negative thoughts, they will keep multiplying and it will get worse.
• Count your blessings and be grateful for them. You are better off than many others.
• Give yourself time to heal and recover from it. What you suffered from for years cannot be healed in days.
• Ask for help when you need it. Don't do it all by yourself plus you will feel better sharing the load of parenting and the demand that comes with it.
• Try making friends with other moms, you will feel less alone.
• See a therapist if need be.

Final thoughts

Giving up on life is not an option you should consider. If you don't suffer from depression and you know someone who does please do keep in touch often. Being unable to reach out could be sending the message of being abandoned and may trigger unintended consequences. If you cannot do anything, just stay and listen. Your could be saving a life. Feel free to share, drop a comment and follow us on Pinterest and Facebook. Thank you.