It is disturbing, to say the least, to read reports of incidents of parents storming their children's schools to pick a fight with teachers because their children were disciplined for various infractions. Some parents have gone as far as hiring hoodlums to perpetuate this act. Where did we get it wrong as parents? What happened to the saying that it takes a village to raise a child? Is discipline a responsibility of parents or teachers? Can parents and teachers work together instead of being at loggerheads? Many teachers are afraid to perform their constitutional responsibility for fear of being attacked by an angry parent. On the other hand, allowing children to get away with bad behaviour will tell on society sooner than later.
When cases of parent-teacher fights occur, there is the possibility that there is a clash in differences in values in the home and school and how the child is perceived at home and in school. Although teachers play an important role in the development of a child ultimately the parents are responsible for the child's discipline. Teachers play a supporting role and must be encouraged so that they do not shun their responsibility and the school administration must have policies that govern the conduct of teachers. This will ensure that the teachers do not impose undue discipline on a child.
Enforcing discipline in kids
There was a time when parents supported teachers when they disciplined a child but it seems that era is long gone. Parents now pick offence at the slightest whiff of discipline. As parents, we must remember that we cannot do everything for our kids and we will not always be with them. We rely on teachers to educate and take care of them in our absence and teachers in turn need us to complement their effort by being responsible for the child's discipline and behaviour.
Parents and teachers both contribute immensely to shaping a child's personality. It is in the best interest of the child to work together and not against the other. The future of your child depends on it.
Note to parents:
- Do not just enrol your kids in school without asking necessary questions such as the school's disciplinary policy before the need arises. Some schools provide it while admitting a child, others do not and you have to be certain so that you can be sure that the school will follow the measures when something goes wrong and you can be confident that your child is not being mistreated.
- Know that the school is working in tandem with you to raise a well-adjusted child and consider the school your partner. Explain to your child that school rules must be followed even when the rules at home are different.
- You will not always know everything about the issue at hand because your child may tell you a partial account of the truth. Don't be so quick to take matters into your own hands.
- If there are changes at home that affect your child's behavioural pattern, the teachers should know about it so that they can work out ways to support him and not just dole out punishment. Divorce, separation, and the death of a loved one can affect a child more than we know.
Note to teachers:
- Consequences for infractions must fit the crime and be appropriate for the child's age.
- Focus on each child as an individual and take the time to find out what is going on rather than yell. Children respond well when you give them a chance to reflect on their choices.
- Alongside the school administration, teachers must keep proper communication lines open with parents when something goes wrong and inform them of measures they can take to support their children.
- Always follow the school's policy so that you can be protected.
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