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Effective Parenting Strategies: How To Raise Firstborn Children The Right Way

     When it comes to parenting, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Each child is unique and requires different parenting styles to thrive. However, firstborns often have a special place in the family dynamic, and their upbringing can have a significant impact on they turn out in future. In this post, we will explore the unique challenges and opportunities that come with being the firstborn in a family. We will provide practical tips and strategies for parents to help their firstborns develop into confident, responsible, and successful individuals. Whether you are a first-time parent or have several children, we will provide valuable insights into raising firstborns right. From setting clear expectations to avoiding common pitfalls, this article will equip you with the tools you need to help your firstborn thrive.  Have you read Parenting and the Curse of the Firstborn? Understanding Firstborns Firstborn children hold a unique position in the family dynamic. Th...

My Second Pregnancy Story: Overcoming The Fear of Childbirth

A pregnant woman with baby boy shoes in her outstretched hands

This is my second pregnancy story and journey to baby number one, I hope you enjoy reading it!

I wrote about my first pregnancy and how it ended in a miscarriage here, a blog post titled, 'Demystifying the Hush Around Miscarriage.'

Carrying a baby to full term and birthing the baby is one of the most precious moments in life. I am just in awe of how a little person can form, grow and be nurtured inside the womb. It is a memory I want to keep and writing about it here will save the memory and I can go back in time and count my blessings. No matter the number of times you have been pregnant or the number of women who are pregnant, the experience is different for everyone and every pregnancy. 
Life happens and it's easy to forget those poignant memories, well, here I am sharing my experience.

How I found out I was pregnant again

Two months after I had a miscarriage, I found out that I was pregnant again. My monthly flow did not show up and I didn't even bother to check the calendar because I wanted to give myself some time to heal, no pressure at all (or was trying to avoid feeling disappointed😋). Seriously, I thought it was too soon and my hormones were pulling a fast one on me. I was about three weeks gone when I finally summoned the courage and took a test. It was positive and I was overjoyed! I was so thankful to God for another chance so soon after the loss of the first pregnancy. It is one thing for the doctor to tell you that you are fit enough to try again and another thing for it to be a reality. Thankfully, I did not have to wait too long for it to happen.

First-trimester experience

Those early signs of pregnancy did show up soon enough. My mom had told me how she did not have morning sickness and her mom (my grandmother) also did not suffer through morning sickness. I hoped it would run in the family but alas, those genes skipped over me. When I was about 8 weeks gone, I began to have pregnancy symptoms. I would throw up every time I ate, I could not keep any food down. The worst was that I would feel hungry but five minutes after I eat, out it would go.

My nose became so sensitive it felt like I could perceive scents, odours and aromas from a mile away! Soap, deodorant and perfumes with strong scents were a no-no for me, my husband used his perfume in the car when he is going out. I had to buy products with minimal scent. Being in a place with a lot of people made me cringe because my nose would go into overdrive. I lost a lot of weight during this time too.

Second trimester

Gradually, those signs and symptoms of pregnancy began to fade away in the middle of the second trimester. I could eat without throwing up and I had to eat little portions and frequently. Strong smells did not bother me so much anymore, I slept better at night too. I also began to crave sweetened yoghurt and pepper soup. My strength returned and I was able to participate in my regular activities. 

Third trimester

At this time, I did not have a regular job and I was sewing at a friend's shop. I remember always standing in front of a mirror and wondering if my bulge was too small considering how far gone I was. As it turned out, my suspicions were right. I had my first ultrasound and scan at 7 months and my baby's weight was 1.6kg! The doctor advised that I stop whatever strenuous activities I am currently engaged in at least until after birth. That was how I stopped working and packed up my sewing machine for the next few months. There was a remarkable improvement though because I gained some weight and so did my baby.

Just when I thought the pregnancy side effects had abated, in came insomnia. I would lay awake from the early hours of the morning, between 1 am and 2 am and would be unable to go back to sleep again.  I used this time to read or pray instead of waiting for sleep to return. It was also at this time that I prepared my hospital bag in preparation for the arrival of the baby.

There was also the matter of being unable to sleep while lying down, I slept most times in a reclining chair. In all, the third trimester was the easiest to get through because I felt more in tune with myself than in the first two trimesters.

How I overcame the fear of childbirth

There was one thought that kept nagging at the back of my mind - the childbirth experience. I had heard so many birth stories and a greater number of them conjured up images of pain and fear. Honestly, it kept me awake many nights and I always wondered if there could be a way to make it bearable. I also prayed about it a lot, I wanted to have a quick and easy process, not the usually long and drawn-out process that was more prevalent. 

I received a call from a childhood friend who just had her baby, she asked me if I have read 'Supernatural Childbirth' by Jackie Mize. I replied in the negative and she sent me the ebook. I read it in a day and I was so excited because it was just what I needed! I read testimonies of women who believed the word of God and it worked out for them. I also put my faith to work and yes, it worked for me too.

My delivery story

The exact day the scan result said to expect the baby, I woke up to light contractions at 6.19 am. They felt more like menstrual cramps and were recurring every 23 minutes. I took a shower, made breakfast for hubby and me, we ate and he left for work. I had previously informed him of the contractions and that I will call him when I was ready to go to the hospital. He called the doctor and informed him that we will be coming in later in the day.

By midday, the contractions were almost 11 minutes apart. I was waiting for my water to break or the mucus plug to come out before I head to the hospital. It was a few minutes past 2 pm when the mucus plug came out, I called my husband and he came home and we left for the hospital. 

When we got to the hospital, the contractions were 3 minutes apart and had become more intense. I felt like doing a poo and I had the urge to push. I was taken to the labour room and in a few minutes that felt like forever for me, my baby was born. It was a boy and he weighed 3.2kg. He was born with a full head of hair, a light complexion and rosy pink lips. Fully and perfectly developed, just as God intended from the beginning.

Between the time it took us to get to the hospital and when the baby was born took 23 minutes. We had been praying that we wanted the labour and delivery to be quick, and God heard and answered our prayer.

My boy is almost two years old, his complexion has become dark like mine and this is a memory I will always cherish.

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