Having a baby is one of the most exciting and intense events in a woman's life, not just for her, but for her family and friends too. From the moment the new mom-to-be is aware that she is expecting a baby, the frenzy of excitement begins to build especially when she is a first-time mom. A flurry of activities also begins, from shopping for items on the
hospital checklist to
baby essentials that will be needed at home for the nursery, at the hospital and when going out with the baby.
When the new mom (or not-so-new mom) arrives home with the baby, she is exhausted from the birthing process, needs
post-partum care and longs to sink into her bed for the much-needed rest but alas, the
realities of motherhood have only just begun to unfold. If there is anything a mother needs after birthing a baby, it's help and support until she can get back on her feet again. A mother always needs help, maybe not with her kids but with house chores and errands to run.
It soon becomes obvious how much help mom needs and how little she can do at times. It is a welcome idea to pamper a new mom, offer emotional support, help new moms with post-partum depression, and anxiety and even offer help from a distance if you are not living close by. Some people who have not been in close contact with a newborn and mom may ask, what do new moms need help with?
I write this article from the perspective of a new mom and below are practical help I received and some I wish there was someone who could do them for me. Happy reading.
1. Offer to watch the baby while she takes a nap. Rest is so often required by new mothers when they return from the hospital and are trying to get used to the newest addition to their families. It will take a while to find what works and what doesn't while finding a rhythm for the increasing family.
2. Please wash your hands. I understand that a lot of people can get offended when reminded to wash their hands before touching the baby. If the new parents ask you to wash your hands please oblige, it is in the best interest of the newborn and not to insult you. The safety and health of the baby are paramount and should be of concern to you too.
3. Help her shop for groceries. Having a baby or another baby increases the items on your to-do list. There are also health concerns about the new mom being out and about while her body is still recuperating. While she may be concerned about how to feed her family, helping her shop will take the load off of her.
4. Offer to run some errands. Some items could be needed urgently or need replacement like drugs, diapers and wipes or picking up an older child from school. Just ask her what she needs to get outside the home.
5. Engage the older kid. It is a lot for a not-so-new mom to handle if she has to take care of a young child and a new baby. Taking the older child off her hands will free her some time to take care of the baby and herself and the other child will not feel neglected.
6. Help her take pictures. Most of the pictures, she will take are of the baby. It will help her save memories if you can assist with taking pictures of her with the newborn baby and the rest of the family too.
7. Bring her food. It is always a welcome relief to have someone do a chore for you especially when you are swamped with chores. Cooking can consume a lot of time and bringing her food will give her time to rest and chat with you too.
8. Don't stay too long. Be sensitive to the needs of the new mothers. She may have been up all night with the baby and will need to rest while the baby is napping. She may not say it so that she does not sound unappreciative of your presence.
9. Take her out of the house sometimes. Staying at home for so long can make you feel like you are out of tune with the rest of the world. A calm, baby-friendly environment will be a nice place to chat and catch up.
10. Bring gifts for the newborn baby. If you are far away and cannot visit or offer her some help,
newborn gifts are a great way to establish your concern.
11. Renew her data/tv subscription. Breastfeeding and soothing babies take long periods and binge-watching her favourite tv shows will keep her occupied while waiting for her baby to feed until satisfied or falls asleep.
12. Bring diapers and wipes. While nursing a newborn baby, there is a need for large supplies of diapers and wipes. You cannot go wrong with diapers and wipes, though you may need to call and ask for the appropriate diaper size first before making a purchase.
13. Clean the house. Having my house cleaned up was always at the top of my list. I be always been particular about a clean environment and would be so happy if a friend offered to help.
14. Stop over sporadically. Though new mothers need a lot of rest, they also need the company of other people with whom they can have an adult conversation. Sometimes, she needs a break from cooing and singing nursery rhymes to her cute baby.
15. Buy a gift for her too. Most people are focused on the baby and understandably, they are so cute. It will be nice to let her know she is not left out by getting her a gift.
16. Offer to do the laundry. With a new addition to the family, there is sure to be a load of dirty clothes waiting to be washed. You can offer to help with them.
17. Cook for her. You could stop by with groceries to cook or cook with her food items. It will be one thing less to worry about for a new mother.
18. Bring the world a little bit closer. Being cocooned in your home with your baby and family can make you feel left out. While visiting, catch up on old friends and other things that are of interest to her.
19. Compliment her often. So often we feel that we have been left out in the scheme of things because all the fuss is about the baby. It is your body that went through the birthing process, you are the one taking care of the baby and yet, you more often than not go unnoticed. It would be nice to hear encouraging words from people who care about us.
20. Ask her what you can do to help. Sometimes, all a new mom needs is a listening ear. Someone to share her anxiety and concerns with without fear of judgment or someone to watch the baby while she snoozes.
21. Help her figure out her baby gadgets. She will need help to fix the baby's nursery, carrier, car seat and stroller. Make yourself useful by going through the manual together and setting the gadgets up for use.
22. Organise other people to pitch in and help. Talk to your circle of friends and church members too. I received a lot of help from my friends at church who pitched in regularly to help.
23. Pamper her. Moms with newborns would love to be doted on, I know I do!
These are super ways to be of help to new moms especially when they just moved into a new neighbourhood and their circle of friends and support system are far away. Go be an awesome person. Cheers!
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