Building Strong Bonds of Affection Among Siblings

    A good relationship between siblings is a vital part of family life and siblings must learn and also be taught to handle this aspect of their lives as it is likely going to be the longest and most influential relationship they are going to have. Fights among siblings are a normal part of the development and it is up to parents to ensure that it stays in the healthy zone.

     As parents, it can be alarming to see our children bicker at every opportunity and we wonder if they will ever get along. Nonetheless, a healthy dose of squabbling is to be expected because your kids have different temperaments and they are also learning how to express themselves and be assertive towards their desires. Parents can take an active part in fostering healthy relationships between their kids by bringing them together to get chores done, and fun activities and by providing the necessary tools to resolve conflicts that occur. This framework will also help them have good relationships with other people as they grow older.

     There are helpful tips to guide you on your journey towards helping your kids form lifelong bonds with each other. The better you are at utilizing these tips, the easier it will be for them to get along with friends, colleagues and spouses later in life.

Strategies To Improve Sibling Bond

• Understand the reason behind the conflict before you step in. A large part of this has to do with knowing your children and observing patterns that play out in their relationship. The younger one may be fond of taking undue advantage of an older sibling knowing that the blame will always go to the older child. Knowing this will help you curb the trend of always blaming the older child and giving the impression that you favour the younger child more. On the other hand, it could be possible that one is trying to get the other's attention or that they are both trying to get your attention. If it is an issue they can handle it is also good to take a step back and let them sort it out.
• Don't compare your kids, it is a sure way to breed resentment and jealousy which could last a lifetime. Every child is unique and such be treated in that light instead of trying to fit each one into the same compartment. 
• Establish chores that have to be done in teams like children working together against parents. The goal is to foster teamwork, cooperation and understanding. The chores have to be age-appropriate and can be as simple as sweeping or making beds as long as it inspires them enough to race against their parents to see which team gets the work done faster.
• Schedule regular family activities that will give your children a chance to bond. Positive experiences like laughing and having fun cause people to grow closer because they feel positive toward each other at that moment. Watch your children know what they like to do together and create time that they can have fun together. Make it a kids-only activity though you may need to watch them especially if it is outdoors.
• Teach your children that respect is important in every relationship so they don't take each other for granted. They should also learn to treat each other the way they want other people to treat them, with kindness. Teach them to speak gently even when upset and also listen in turn to the other person and also to be mindful of other people's belonging. Permission should be obtained from the owner before taking another's property.
• Remind your children regularly that family is forever and though they may have friends they like to spend time with and may even prefer them to their siblings, family is a solid source of love and trust that can be depended on. They may not understand at first but as they grow older, they will come to know how true it is.
• Create special one-on-one time for each of your children. You may think the younger ones need more of your time but the older ones do too. When you take the time to do this, they will see that there is no need for rivalry and will even give you space when it gets to another's turn. If there were frequent quarrels between them scheduling this time will bring an improvement in the relationship.
• Make time to have fun as a family too. Choose activities and or games that can be enjoyed by the whole family whether indoors or outdoors.
• Encourage your children to cooperate more instead of competing against each other. Comparisons and inequitable distribution of praise can bring about singing rivalry and unhealthy competition.
• Avoid name-calling like a plague. Children are more sensitive than we give them credit for and painful teasing can stay with them longer than we realise. It brings feelings of inadequacy, shame, low self-esteem and depression which undermines the wholesome growth and development of the child.
• Pray over your children. You will be inspired with avenues to handle issues that befuddle you and it will give you confidence that God is in control.

Benefits Of Healthy Sibling Bond

• Children learn how to value and nourish friendship from the way they relate with each other.
• Kids will have a support system they can rely on in more difficult situations.
• Home is where they will learn to regulate their emotions before they are faced with real-life circumstances.

     Building a bond that lasts among your children may seem like a waste of time at first but if you keep at it long enough, you will see the rewards.

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