If you have ever been at the receiving end of a caustic tongue and felt the words stab your heart as they came spewing forth, you understand just how real words are. Some parents do not have an idea of the effect that words spoken in anger have on their children or how long it stays with them, some never forget them.
We somehow believe this misconception that our sometimes harsh climate and the stress we are exposed to every day in Nigeria as we hustle makes us immune to harsh words but it does not. There are families where name-calling and cruel teasing is the order of the day.
But guess what? We did not turn out okay las las, as we like to say. Some of this dysfunction has found its way into the homes of young people today who continue from where their parents left off and this has to stop.
What does it mean to speak life?
Speaking life simply means speaking words that build-up, strengthen, encourage and all good things you desire to see and in a way that is acceptable and not in any way inimical to the message being delivered.
If bad words can have a damning effect then good and proper words have the potential to recreate our world. I learnt to speak good words and I try to intentionally speak well over my children and refrain from speaking when I'm upset. I especially like to speak the word of God over my children. The Bible calls the word of God, the more sure word of prophecy (2 Peter 1:19), this gives me the confidence to keep speaking the word of God over them because it is sure to come to pass.
How to stop speaking death to your children
- Be careful of your thoughts. What your mind dwells on eventually comes out of your mouth. One of the quickest ways to know a person is to listen to what they say. What kinds of words come out of your mouth?
- Be mindful of your associations. If you keep company with people who do not speak life, you will eventually be like them because constant exposure to them will wear down your defences and soon enough, you will see nothing wrong with what they say. So what is it going to be?
- Pray. There is nothing too little to bring before God, if it were that easy you would not have needed help in the first place! Some character changes need much more than human help.
- Meditate on the word of God. It will calm your mind, allay your fears and open your spirit to receive from God.
Importance of speaking life over your children
You cannot afford to leave your child's destiny to fate, as a
godly parent you are in the best position to steer your child's future with your words. If we raise our kids properly, we are also equipping them with the ability to raise more generations right. That's right, it does not end with just you, it has a ripple effect and you cannot tell how far it will go.
In addition, you can also pray the scriptures over your kids. I like to find prayer points to raise for my kids from the Bible unless in situations where there is a problem I need to bring before God. You can find your inspiration from the Bible too.
Examples of life-giving words to speak over your children
These phrases have their roots in the Bible and I modify them for my use. This is not an exhaustive list, it is to serve as a guide. You can also use my declarations and find more to add to your list:
- You are blessed
- You are highly favoured
- You are sought out, a city not forsaken
- Your going out and your coming in is blessed
- You are enough
- You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus
- You are beautifully and wonderfully made
- All that your hand finds to do will prosper
- You are brave, you are bold, you are courageous
- You are loved
Speak to them about what you want them to become, let your words mold them into the people they were created to be.
Speaking life quotes
Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Proverbs 18:21
Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.
Take time to feed your soul, compliment yourself, pamper yourself, smile at yourself, think positive thoughts and speak life. Watch how you talk to yourself – because you are listening.
Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble.
Yehuda Berg
Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.
Proverbs 21:23
Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.
Joel Osteen
Don't mix bad words with your bad mood. You'll have many opportunities to change a mood, but you'll never get the opportunity to replace the words you spoke.
Unknown
Their tongue is as an arrow shot out; it speaketh deceit: one speaketh peaceably to his neighbour with his mouth, but in heart he layeth his wait.
Jeremiah 9:8
If we understood the power of our thoughts, we would guard them more closely. If we understood the awesome power of our words, we would prefer silence to almost anything negative. In our thoughts and words, we create our own weaknesses and our own strengths. Our limitations and joys begin in our hearts. We can always replace negative with positive.
Betty Eadie
Words have incredible power. They can make people’s hearts soar, or they can make people’s hearts sore.
Dr Mardy Grothe
For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.
1 Peter 3:10
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