Best Parenting Tips: Advice For New Moms

     Having a newborn baby can be both an exhilarating and exhausting experience for first-time parents. I don't think mothers who already have babies become pros at everything, we become pros with the kids we already have because each new additional bundle of joy comes with its own set of challenges. No two children are the same so these parenting tips will work for new parents as well as not-so-new parents.

From the inception of your pregnancy until when the baby is born and even beyond this period, first-time parents begin the quest to search for more information for new parents online. I know I did. I asked my doctor a lot of questions and sometimes it was to confirm what I read online and a lot of them were on point. Now I get to write this post as a mom of two and these tips for new parents come from a place of experience. Besides, all new parents share some similarities in their journey regardless of their circumstances. So here goes:

19 Advice for new moms

1. Know your village. You have people around you be they family or friends that you can trust with your baby. Let them know you value them and that you will need their help along the way so that when you eventually reach out to them, they will be happy to help you out.

2. Expect sleep deprivation. This is the hardest to get used to by most new moms. Your newborn needs to be bottle-fed every two hours and even less for babies that are breastfed. This is a challenge especially at night after you have had a stressful day but you will get better at taking care of your baby no matter how tired you are. We all do.

3. Shake the mom guilt. Your baby did not come with a manual and despite the classes you took, books you read and information you got online, they still have not prepared you enough for first-hand experience. There are a lot of things you will learn after you become a mom and you will fail at something(s). Forgive yourself, learn your lesson and move on. There will be many more of them ahead and you cannot get hung up on the past. At best, your baby feels loved and knows you are doing a good job of it.

4. Everything as you knew it has changed. As a working mom, stay-at-home mom, or single mom, your life has changed dramatically. Having a baby means that your world now revolves around them. It is not uncommon to have your chores still undone at the end of the day and your baby comes first with you too. From now on, things will not always go according to plan, embrace it and get used to it because it is not going to change any time soon.

5. Trust your intuition. It comes with the territory to assume that other people know more about you than you do in the circumstances but that is not always the case. You know you and you know your baby, you can feel when something is not okay and you should seek proper help on time. It is better to be safe than sorry, my doctor always tells me that.

6. Learn to live in the moment. There will be times when you will be overwhelmed, days that you get nothing or very little done or even feel like a failure. You need to catch yourself right there. Dwelling in that dark place will cause you to miss out on those incredible days with your baby. Smile at your baby, laugh at their antics and enjoy those kisses and hugs because they grow up too fast. Every milestone they cross is a step away from you and into adulthood.

7. Believe in yourself and your abilities. You got this no matter how you feel at the moment. There is nothing you cannot do. You have come this far in life because you trusted in yourself and your abilities, don't lose that trust now. 

8. Ask for help. You will be needing a lot of it, especially at the beginning as you learn to adjust to your new role and give your body time to heal from post-partum stress. Don't try to do everything on your own, your baby needs you healthy and strong. Call members of your village and ask for help shopping for groceries, cooking, cleaning and laundry or even watch your baby while you bathe or take a nap.

9. Accept help from people. Offering help to new moms is not uncommon. Your friends and family know you need it so please let them help you with chores and errands which will free you more time to spend with your newborn. 

10. Get to know your baby. This is the time to form a bond with your baby and get to know its peculiarities. Your infant will get to know your scent, and how your voice sounds and recognise your face as its mom's from the many faces of people who are helping you care for your baby.

11. Don't neglect yourself. The importance of self-care cannot be stressed enough. Being a lot of things to many people is bound to take its toll on you. You need time to refill so that you can be refreshed and feel better about yourself. 

12. Don't lose yourself. You were great at other things before you became a mom, don't abandon your dreams and goals but keep working at it whenever the opportunity presents itself. This will help keep your mind fresh and focused and give you something else to work on after your babies are grown.

13. Expect sick days. Beginning with the visits to the hospital for immunisation shots to other issues that may arise, there will be days when your baby will need extra care. These days will be more stressful than others. Know that sick days are normal in babies too so don't worry too much (easier said than done, right?) just be sure to seek proper medical care for your infant.

14. Don't expect too much of yourself. You are yet to get the hang of it and with your increased roles and responsibilities, it will take some time. You cannot get things done as easily as before, you can get interrupted at any time by the sound of your baby's cry.  Also, give your body some time to heal and return to its former fit shape besides, it does not happen for everyone. Some people don't regain their former body and that is okay, your body has been through a lot. Accept and love the new you.

15. Don't bathe your baby too soon. Give your baby a sponge bath until the umbilical cord falls off and until the circumcision heals (for your boy child) and this can take roughly from one to four weeks. 

16. Sift the advice you receive. From the time your pregnancy becomes obvious to other people till the time your baby is born, you get to receive a plethora of advice from people and some will be unsolicited. Even more so when you are a first-time mom and dad. Some of this advice is old-wives tales and will do you no good.

17. Create your family dynamics. What works for other people must not work for you in the same way. Take your time to test and explore, don't impose anything on yourself and your family.

18. Don't play the comparison game. Some parents like to compare their children with others claiming that their children are better. The truth is that each child is unique and will reach each milestone in their own time and regardless of when that happens, celebrate your children.

19. Pray. I'm a firm believer in prayer and I like to commit the things I cannot control to a God who is limitless. I pray for my children's safety, happiness and health and I'm delighted when seeing the answers to these prayers. Why don't you try praying?